one-on-one meeting

A new manager joined our company.
The enthusiastic poor soul, called up a group meeting and declared on the lines and voice of mosses.
I will meet all of you personally and get to know you well.

A man of his words, he send meeting request to meet each person.
and I too got it.
someone wants to meet and hear me. Ohh, this is great. There is someone like that still in the company.

So today was the D-Day. I finished my lunch early and at the appointed time, knocked on his door.
( yes I can go to meetings and at correct time , atleast i have done it once now)

me : hi we had a meeting planned now.
manager : Ohh I didn't cancel it
Grrr someone (or possibly everyone) has told him about me. He has been warned.
But how can I give up so easily.

me: no you didn't. Infact I had to cancel fixing the bug, which is holding up a release for your meeting. now i cannot even work on the bug, since I have given the hardware to someone else.
( ofcourse all lies. i don't intend to work on the bug for the next whole week. but hey look, I am creative)

manager: alright. I guess a short meeting is fine.

I jump inside and take a seat, before he changes his mind.
Then quickly go back and close the door ( shouldn't let him run out in middle of meeting) and place my chair between himself and door.

The manager obviously unaware of all the planning, starts the meeting. Poor soul.

manager: so what do you want to do
me : I want to start my own company. ( hahaha, he never saw this coming).

but he is not really a lame person. so he tries to get around.

manager : lets talk about your professional "technical" interests.
me : well I once wrote a few quality papers.

hahahaha except no one read it
I am thinking of the paper, but i don't remember the name of it. even i read it only once after i wrote it. can't remember the name, so I take the escape exit

me : u can google in net for it

manager : so tell me about your overall work experience.
wow, now i know the guy is real slow.
but well U don't throw away an oppurtunity like that.
well I went on a 10 minute travel down my experience lane, explaining my field.
and like a true indian, I claimed thy neighbours field as thy fields as well.

manager : okie ... alright... what do u think about the company

And so I started again explaining the great potential of company and the people.
hahaha
I joined 3 weeks before him and hardly know even the guy in the next cubicle.
but the manager doesn't know how new I am.

So finally after all my dim mak actions, the manager said goodbye.
I am sure he won't meet me again though.
so waiting for next balli ka bakra